We got a late start after spending over an hour under the hot Keralan sun watching the festivities at the start line alongside approximately 60 other rickshaws all waiting impatiently for the start-gun. Once we all set off we decided to avoid the inevitable rickshaw traffic through the narrow lanes of Fort Kochi and took off in the opposite direction. This was all well and good until we realized that following a map in a city with few if any road signs is a lot trickier than we had anticipated. We have become very accustomed to asking for directions at every fork in the road, although the most common response has been something to the effect of “go to next village and ask again”. We have since learned not to waste time asking directions of off anyone who isn’t driving a motorized vehicle. The guy with the ox drawn cart is unlikely to have heard of where you’re going much less know which direction it is…that’s assuming he has any  clue what I’m asking him!

We came inches from our first collision as a motorcycle cut across to turn right in front of us. Lionel nearly had a heart attack, I checked behind to make sure everyone was alive and they drove off as if nothing happened. You get the sense that such near death experiences are an ever day occurrence on these roads.

After heading north for a couple of hours we decided that rather than heading to Trissur and then cutting across we would take the “scenic route” through the tea plantations and national parks. The fact this was marked as a national highway on the map had me thinking it was probably a fairly good road through the valley…wrong! We learnt a lot about the state of India’s national highways that day; most importantly, a national highway is not necessarily a well-maintained road and may involve a significant amount of “off-road” driving up steep mountain roads with multiple hairpin bends. The scenery was beautiful but we were doing well to average 20kph today and it was no way to break in our brand new rickshaw.  The poor dear.  Not to mention the fact that when you’re driving at that speed the villages are VERY far apart; so much so that we broke the first rule of safe rickshaw driving (not in the dark) on our first day.  

It was 8pm and we were 26km from the next village. We could not see more than a couple meters in front of us and the roads were steep and full of pot-holes so when a bus overtook us we got the bright idea to follow it figuring it must be going to the main town and at least it opened the road and gave us some light by which to drive. Turns out the bus was going in a different direction (which was not on the map).  Since we were now miles from the next town and pretty fed up we found a shop by the roadside which had an adjacent room for rent. The shop owner cooked up some chapattis and dahl and we were fast asleep awaking early the next morning with a cool mist and beautiful view over the rolling tea plantations. The good thing about surviving a rotten first day is that it can’t get much worse…can it?

As far as tuk tuk pimping goes, I don't know what it is with us and colourblind painters but we seem to know how to pick 'em. Some of you might recall our horror when we moved in to our newly refurbished flat in Singapore and it was painted entirely in lavender...or “bright white” depending on your level of colour blindness. Well our Ferrari auto-rickshaw suffered a similar fate. In this case the painter's interpretation of red was rusty orange. Two trips to the paint shop and several sweaty hours later it's looking much closer to the mean machine we had in mind. We took it for a test drive the other day and after 5 minutes Lionel was already swearing in French. Not a good start. However, I'm pleased to report that after a mere few hours of driving around the backstreets of Kochi, you would be hard-pressed to tell him apart from any other local rickshaw driver: driving on whichever side of the road happens to be available, honking his horn every other second, racing past pedestrians with an inch to spare between them. Who'd have thought a rickshaw could be so much fun! This is going to be one hell of journey!

I can hardly believe the long awaited day has finally arrived. There's excitement in the air...and hundreds of touts hanging around eager to get in on the action. If I had to describe Kochi in one word it would be “sweaty”. Bearing in mind, I'm accustomed to the tropical climate of Singapore, that's telling. Other than that, it has been a very relaxing and enjoyable few days and a good place to ease into what I expect will be a chaotic couple of weeks.

It has been several months that we have been talking about this India-in-a-rickshaw-thing, and now that it’s two weeks away, it’s probably about time we gave you an update about the status of our preparation.

First of all, preparation is a very inappropriate word. Yeah, i mean it probably takes you some time to realize that it s for real, that you are going to do this rickshaw run and go across India (a country that is several thousand kilometres wide) in a vehicle that is commonly known as a "Tuk-Tuk"
But then?
How the hell do you prepare for a trip like that? Well obviously you buy plane tickets; maybe book the first night’s hotel to make sure you get a good sleep before throwing yourself into the adventure?

 
A few ideas which all drew blanks: Find a self-help book on the mechanics of a rickshaw? Stuff your tummy with chilis and swamp water and then attempt to remain seated for the following 8 hours? Grow a unibrow and a mustache and learn how to say 'i want a pepper steak in red wine reduction' in Tamil? Find a computer simulation that involves dodging unpredictable holy cows and hoards of people, not to  mention Tata trucks speeding down winding mountain roads in the wrong direction?

Nevertheless, we did try and here is where we stand:

Visas: 'tick'
International driving permit: for a rickshaw??? Well, ok, let’s say ‘tick’
Get a road map of India and a compass: ‘tick’
Stock up on diarrhea pills and other survival essentials: 'tick'
Eat the 'Devil curry', the speciality at the indian restaurant next door to home: …no, not courageous enough to do that….
travel insurance: well…ever tried to get travel insurance and ask the bewildered clerk if you would be covered if the motorized tricycle that you plan to drive through India hits a holy cow? Are injuries by stoning from villagers covered? And what about the cow itself?

Needless to say, none of the above is covered and the insurance clerk was not prepared to insert our suggested clauses to the schedule of cover so we will just have to cross our fingers and hope for the best.